So here are my opinions about private school:

1. My biggest problem with private school is the cost. From what I hear, the cheapest private schools cost $200 per month which would be $2400 per year per kid. That’s a total of $31,200 for one kid’s education (and like I said these are the cheapest schools). That’s about how much my college education cost and I got a Master’s degree! I just don’t see how I could justify spending that much on my kids’ education when that money could go towards so many other things. I could help my kids pay for their college education. That could be a down payment on a house for them. Or I could feed about 10 kids in Africa for 13 years. The Free Methodist Malawian orphan project feeds 400 orphans 1 meal a day for $4000 a year. It seems like such a waste of money to pay for my kids’ education when they have access to a free education in the public schools.

2. I definitely realize that there is a huge problem with our public education system. I don’t think that kids learn as much as they should. I don’t think schools are equipped to teach kids who learn at different paces. And I feel like kids really spend too much time in the classroom when they should be engaging in much more physical activity. But I am not convinced that private schools are truly better in this area. I know there are some private schools and especially boarding schools where the academics are amazing, but I am not sending my kids away to live somewhere else so they can get a better education. I figure if my kids want to know something more than what they have learned in school, Lawrence and I can teach them about it or they can read about it on their own. That’s what I did when I was interested in a subject that wasn’t taught deep enough in school.

3. I think the social aspect of school is the most important reason to send your kids to school. Yes, I could teach my kids everything they could learn in school (except Calculus which is the one class I didn’t take.) But I couldn’t possibly teach them how to interact with their peers. One thing I learned by going to WVU is that when you have a big enough group of people around your age, you are bound to find people that you have things in common with. And I know that one thing that helps people to live a happy and satisfying life is having meaningful relationships. I hate to think that I might send my kids to a school where there are only 5 other kids in their grade and they have nothing in common and my kids are unhappy every day because they are just going through the motions of school instead of enjoying spending time with their friends each day. Lawrence has told me that he had a miserable high school experience and the reason is because he didn’t have any close friends. I had an amazing high school experience because I had a great group of friends who I loved spending time with every day. I want my kids to have the same opportunity that I had.

4. I know that some parents send their kids to private schools because they think it will keep the kids from the evils of public schools. In my experience, the kids who went to the Catholic high school were more likely to be on drugs because they came from wealthier families. If you think that the kids in private schools don’t drink or get in trouble in other ways, I think you are kidding yourself. Besides, I think that if you raise your kids with good morals, they will make the right decisions when it comes to those types of things. I went to public school and I didn’t do anything too terrible. Furthermore, I think that we Christians are becoming too insular. We only want to participate in “Christian” activities and hang out with other Christians. How are we supposed to tell others about Jesus if we only associate with other people who believe in Jesus?

I think that’s enough for now. What do you think about public vs. private schools?

On the other hand, I have made a few bad decisions in my life when I didn’t follow that process. For instance, before we had Wesley, I really wanted a new puppy. We already had a dog and a cat, but for some reason, I really wanted a new little puppy. Looking back, I’m sure the reason was that I really wanted to have a baby and knew that that wasn’t going to happen quite yet, so I decided to get a puppy to be a mommy to instead. I didn’t pray about it, and Lawrence wasn’t thrilled with the idea, but I went out and got a puppy anyway. She ended up having parvo, so we spent a bunch of money having her cared for at the vet. Then, we found out that the shelter we got her from had abused the animals, so she is a very nervous dog who growls at people she doesn’t know.

How do you know when you are making the right decision?

1. Roose was raised as a Quaker and, therefore, identifies as a Christian, although he says he has never been saved. Overall, I think the book offers a fairly balanced perspective of evangelicals, although at times I think Roose was confused by some evangelical practices and beliefs simply because he had not had enough exposure to this culture. As I mentioned in my previous post, we tend to use vocabulary that can be confusing to non-evangelicals. Also, I think we aren’t always honest about our own thoughts and feelings for fear that other people will judge us. Roose was confused when he found out that some students questioned their faith at times. He also didn’t understand how the student population could be filled with people who identify as Christians, yet every week many students would respond to the altar call during worship service. Sometimes non-Christians see our holier-than-thou personas and think that our lives must be sin-free, but of course that isn’t true.

2.One observation that Roose made during the semester was that there was a strict rule against using profanity or taking the Lord’s name in vain – students caught swearing were fined and given reprimands-but students could use as many anti-gay slurs as they wanted without getting into trouble. I totally agree with him that all hateful language should be banned from Christians’ vocabulary. Not only do I disapprove of anti-gay and racist slurs, but I cringe when I hear someone call someone else a “retard”. Ugh Even writing about it makes me angry.

3. One of the big things that makes Liberty University different from secular schools is their rules. They aren’t allowed to watch R-rated movies. The men had to wear collared shirts and were not allowed to wear shorts or pants that were ripped. They also had to keep their hair shorter than their ears and could not have any piercings. Alcohol and smoking weren’t allowed and students could be expelled for being caught drinking one time. Students had a curfew to abide by and were reprimanded and fined if they were not in the dorms by this time. Students were allowed to sign out to stay at a friend’s house but only if the friend was the same sex or it was a married couple, and even then it could only be for a couple of days. Students were required to attend convocation and were fined and reprimanded if they fell asleep during the service. The dorms were strictly one gender and people of the opposite sex were not even allowed to visit someone in his/her dorm room. Couples were allowed to hold hands and could hug for up to 3 seconds, but were not allowed to kiss or perform “full body hugs”. Students who had sex outside of marriage could be fined $500 and even expelled. I thought OT school at WVU was strict, but at least they didn’t have rules about my relationship. I have to say that if kissing was forbidden at WVU, I think I would have transferred pretty quickly. I definitely understand the reasoning behind some of the rules. The dress code is there so people aren’t wearing skimpy clothes and distracting the opposite sex, but what does hair length have to do with that? I think it is great to encourage students not to drink since I have seen firsthand how many students end up dropping out of college because they were partying too much and couldn’t keep their grades up. But to make it punishable by monetary fine if a student is drinking off-campus somewhere.. I think that’s going a little overboard. I think that being too strict can impede young people from learning to make decisions for themselves. I think it is messed up that 18 year olds can serve in the military and we are expecting them to make a decision about what major they want to choose so they know what career they will be in for the rest of their lives, but we won’t let them watch an R-rated movie? My feelings about this issue were affirmed when Roose talks about his friends’ fear of summer break. They are all terrified that they will go home for the summer and give in to temptations since they don’t have the strict rules in place at home. However, some students did say that they appreciate the relationship based rules since it puts less pressure on them while dating. They don’t have to worry about sex, so they can just focus on getting to know each other.

4. This book touched on another concept that I have been thinking about. Studies have shown that people generally won’t continue to attend a church if they haven’t made close friendships and don’t feel like they are part of the community. Roose attended all of the church services and Bible studies that other students attended. He participated in the prayer group in his dorm, played on an intramural softball team and sang in the church choir. He became fully immersed in the culture of the university and made some very close friendships. Because of that, he enjoyed most of these activities even though he didn’t actually believe some of the basic tenets of evangelical Christianity. Did you hear that? He didn’t believe in the stuff that he was listening to, but he enjoyed going to Bible study and church services and prayer groups! That says a lot about how important building a healthy community in your church really is.

Overall, it was an interesting and enlightening read. There are more points that I could make about the book, but I have already written way too much. Plus, some of the topics are so big I think I will make them separate posts.

I have been thinking a lot about what most churches do for their communities. It seems that most of the programs that churches have to offer are more for themselves than for other people. Yes, churches have children’s programs, choirs, dance teams, softball teams, etc, etc. But what are the purposes of these things? For the most part, they exist to bring people into the church or to provide fellowship opportunities for people in the church. Most churches do give money to missions, which is somewhat unselfish, although the purpose of this money is generally to bring people to Christ which is still kind of self-serving. (As a side note, I actually had a conversation with someone about a year ago where they tried to convince me that their church should not give to missions because they had their own money problems and didn’t really have money to spare on missions. I have so many problems with this statement that it could be its own topic, but I won’t go there right now.) I’m not saying that these things are not important and we should stop putting money into them. My question is, what are we doing for people that is only being done because people need the help?

“We don’t have to settle for being hell-avoiding legalists who only color inside the lines, or reward-seeking saints who are so heavenly minded they are of little earthly good. Instead, we can be spiritual pioneers – adventurers who dare to explore what a life fully committed to God can really look like.”

First of all, what happens when you can no longer acquire new things? I can tell you how this feels since I can no longer work and don’t have extra money to buy whatever I want. I hate not being able to buy new clothes for the winter when I always have before. And it’s even worse that I can’t buy tons of cute clothes for my kids. Sometimes I’m embarrassed when I drive Lawrence’s car that sounds terrible and has dents all over it. And I’d love to be able to get Lawrence a new netbook since I know he has had his eye on them for a while. But the truth of the matter is that we don’t NEED new stuff. We all have closets full of clothes. We have 3 used vehicles that may not be attractive, but at least they run. And we have one perfectly good laptop and another not so great laptop that should be enough for us. But isn’t that how most people feel? No matter how much stuff we get, we just want more, more, more?

The real problem with this is that there are so many people in the world who have so very little. Here I am complaining about my clothes when there are people in Malawi who were so thankful to get the clothes Lawrence brought from Goodwill. They didn’t care what the clothes said or even if they were gender appropriate. They were just glad to have something to wear. I complain about Lawrence’s car when I have seen many people waiting near the interstate in a downpour so they can catch a ride to the store to get groceries. I think about buying new pieces of technology to entertain me when there are people out there with real needs. People who don’t have clean water to drink. People who are dying from diseases that could easily be treated. When I think about these people, I am embarrassed about the things that I have. I am embarrassed that I eat out so often. I am embarrassed about all of the gifts that I know I will be getting for Christmas. And yet part of me wants to cling to those things. I make excuses like “I have to have nice clothes to wear to church” or “I don’t want my kids to feel like they missed out if I don’t get them certain things”. Am I the only one who feels stuck in this way?

I have heard the complaint many times that Christians are hypocritical. In some ways I can see where that complaint is coming from. One way that Christians can seem hypocritical is by supporting the death penalty. I would say that a large percentage of Christians are anti-abortion, but many of those same people will turn around and agree with killing people who have been convicted of crimes. These people say that the Bible supports their stand on capital punishment by quoting verses from the Old Testament. But I would argue that Jesus said “You have heard that it was said, ‘Eye for eye, and tooth for tooth.’ But I tell you, Do not resist an evil person. If someone strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also. And if someone wants to sue you and take your tunic, let him have your cloak as well.” I don’t understand how anyone cannot see that Christians should show forgiveness rather than condemnation. It is not our job to judge others. Certainly there should be a punishment for those who commit murder, but is it right for us to murder the murderer? Doesn’t that make us just as guilty?

First of all, it is not our right to judge others. When Jesus came upon the adulteress who was about to be stoned, he said “If any one of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone at her.” Instead of pointing out all of the things someone is doing wrong, we should be showing Jesus’ love through our acceptance of them. The one thing that people need to help them overcome their vices is Jesus. Every time we Christians act accusatory or say hurtful things about them, we just add another brick to the wall that is being built between them and Jesus.

The second point I have is where I am going to lose some people. This is something that is so deeply a part of some Christians that they will get angry at me just for writing this. To those people I say, we will just have to agree to disagree. The second problem I have with Christians being judgmental is that not everyone has the same convictions. Somewhere along the line, some confusion has grown between following Biblical mandates and seeking holiness. I was taught as a child that drinking is a sin, smoking is a sin, getting a tattoo is a sin, gambling is a sin, etc, etc. As an adult, I have studied the Bible and not really found these things to be classified as sins. I have learned about John Wesley and his idea that Christians should strive to rise above our vices as we seek holiness. The problem with this is that it is subjective. I think that we should strive for holiness, but that doesn’t give us a right to tell other people what they should and shouldn’t do. Some people feel convicted about doing work on Sundays, then those people shouldn’t work on Sundays. Some people feel convicted about wearing flashy clothing, then those people should avoid dressing that way. I even agree that we should attempt to avoid things that we think will cause other people to stumble in their walk of faith, such as smoking in front of someone who is trying to quit. I am not encouraging anyone to do things that they think they shouldn’t do. I am saying not to judge other people who do those things because they may not feel the same as you and, again, you may be pushing them further away from a relationship with Jesus.

If you are married and especially if you have kids, you know the importance of “picking your battles”. If you yell at your spouse or kids for every tiny little thing they do wrong, they will begin to get defensive and possibly even antagonistic. This sometimes happens between Christians and nonbelievers too. We get so focused on some of the silly, petty things that we disagree with and we rant and rave until people stop listening. Some people even get so sick of being told that they are “wrong” that they become antagonistic towards the church. For instance, does it REALLY matter if people believe in evolution? No, I don’t believe in macroevolution and I can even argue against it, but why should I bother? Is that going to turn people to Christ? Do you really believe that there are people out there who are just waiting for someone to disprove evolution and that is the one thing that will make them choose to seek God? I’m not so sure. However, I can assure you that you can turn many people away by trying to disprove scientific theories. I’m not saying that we should change what we believe, but I think we need to stop trying to shove our beliefs down everyone’s throats. It’s just like my 2 year old, Wesley. He is a picky eater and does not always trust me when I tell him something tastes good. He knows that I think chicken tastes good yet when he tries it, it makes him gag. So, when I tell him to taste a cookie because it “tastes good” he sometimes refuses to try it because he isn’t sure if it will make him gag like the chicken.Similarly, nonbelievers can be distrusting towards Christians. We keep offering them “chicken” and it just doesn’t sit well with them. How do we expect them to try to develop a relationship with Jesus if they don’t trust us when we say it “tastes so good”?